Tag Archives: fear

What In The Heck Are You Asking?!

The quality of your questions determines the quality of your life.

Let me explain what I mean by that. I’ve come to see recently that we are all asking questions to ourselves all the time. Those questions are determined by the filters of our experiences and programs that we have lived our lives by. This explains why some people can be crushed by a situation and others rise above and thrive through the same circumstances. It all comes down to the questions we’re running in our minds.

I was put into a horrific situation where my life changed 180 degrees in a matter of seconds—from a dedicated mom of two beautiful young girls a nd a successful business woman with a concrete plan to expand her company internationally…to sitting in a 10×12 cell in a high security jail with total uncertainty and fear, completely isolated from her family while my daughters were growing up with me. This situation lasted almost FOUR years! I would never wish this on anyone!

In the first months, I often asked myself:

  1. Why is this happening to me?
  2. What have I done to deserve this?
  3. When is this ever going to end?

In order to survive, I immersed myself in reading anything positive I could get my hands on. It became a personal development bootcamp in the highest regard for me and I began to see the world differently. As I searched for my inner strength and courage, I began asking different questions:

  1. What is the higher purpose to this situation?
  2. What can I learn from this challenge?
  3. How can I serve others while I’m here?

My questions changed from a “victim mentality” to a “victor mentality” and I became strong. I was able to stay focused on my dream and my deep faith that it would come true: my charges would all be dropped, I’d walk out of the building I was in, and return home to my family where I belonged and that I would be there to raise my daughters. Although it took a long time…that was exactly what did end up happening.

Are you aware of the type of questions you are asking yourself? What would happen if you changed them to more empowering questions? How are you reacting to the situations that come up in your life?

Things just happen. But then we label them according to how we view the world. So a situation can be a big problem where you focus on what is going wrong…or it can be an opportunity where you focus on the solution.

Successful people always find the solutions that drive them through their challenges. They grow, develop, and become better people because of everything that they have experienced. Others who focus on what is wrong all the time can easily become angry, bitter, and stuck, which only perpetuates their situation for the worse.

A leadership mentor explained to me once how it really is essential to bring in light into any situation and not focus on clearing out the negative stuff, because if you bring in enough positive energy and enthusiasm, the problems and negativity will dissipate naturally. It helped me to realize just how powerful we really are and that we have the ability to determine the quality of our lives by the choices we make and by questions we ask.

Here is a powerful exercise: practice saying everything you say in a positive way. Sounds easy at first, but it can also take some effort because unfortunately, our world often conditions us to see the worst! Stating things positively is a great place to start becoming aware of the questions you are running through your head and why.

My final question to you now is: are you paying attention to what the heck you’re asking yourself and how can you change those questions so that they serve you in a positive way?

Choosing Love Over Fear in the Face of a Terror Attack

 

On the afternoon of April 7th, there was a terrorist attack in Stockholm, about three blocks away from where I was working on a video project. As we were wrapping up the filming, we could hear sirens and saw several police cars driving towards the city center. We were loading up the video equipment to move on to the next location when the crew got messages about what had happened. All we knew at that time was that a truck had driven onto a busy pedestrian street and drove into a busy department store. It was chaos and we drove away from the area to get to the next location. We tried to continue filming but soon stopped as everyone was quite concerned and wanted to get home to their families so we postponed the rest of the filming to another day.

Stockholm is a small city and we probably only have two degrees of separation max when it comes to knowing people. I actually had a friend who was sitting right above where the truck drove into the department store and she felt the impact and knew something was wrong. What she told me afterwards–and what she consciously chose to focus in on—was the amount of love and heroism from all the people. I believe humanity has a natural ability to reach out and support each other, especially in times of trouble. We (for the most part!) are hardwired to care and have empathy for each other. And this event was an example of this. Because afterwards, people who lived in the city center were posting on Facebook, opening up their homes to people who got stranded in the city (all the trainings and metro systems shut down immediately) and were driving people home. There are countless stories of people choosing to help and support each other in whatever ways they could afterwards.

Someone decided to have a LOVE demonstration two days later and posted about it on Facebook Friday evening. I believe it was one of the biggest turnouts and a strong message of solidarity for Sweden that we choose love over fear. Swedes refuse to allow the insane actions of a few people ruin what Sweden stands for—an open and trusting society. I’m so happy to know that our underlying values in this country are strong. And yes, even though there are still problems, if the vast majority can choose love over fear each and every day, we will make great progress to creating a world in which we all want to live. This small little action is something to keep in mind each and every day, no matter what you do. And collectively, we can—and will—change the world!

This 2 minute video shows what happened that day at the peace demonstration. It was made by Herman Caroan, a very talented videographer, and immediately went viral.