We say soothing words to others when they are upset. Why not use the same approach with ourselves when we’re feeling down, asks Kristin Neff, PhD, author of Self-Compassion: Stop Beating Yourself Up and Leave Insecurity Behind (William Morrow). Gestures of compassion—even when given to ourselves—release oxytocin, a brain chemical that promotes feelings of trust. You might speak soothing words to yourself when you are upset, just as you would to someone else. You might say, “I know that I am feeling bad right now. And I’m ready to do anything to support myself right now.”