Category Archives: Joy

5 Tips To Shift Your Crappy Life

Life can be a bitch sometimes, can’t it? It can downright suck at times. We’ve all been there! And there are ways to shift your outlook deliberately so that you can feel better.

Do you have any rituals that you do? One of mine every year is to review in my old journals to see where I was in the previous years. The majority of the time it puts me into a state of gratitude to NOT be where I was before!

As March is my birthday month, I recently did this activity. I found the date when I was able to define my purpose statement of bringing joy to the world—on March 22, 2011! That was on the spring equinox eight years ago. That has put me on a trajectory that I couldn’t even imagine at that time! Life is like that!

Here are 5 Tips that help shift how you look at life and to gain clarity…

1. The Reverse Gap

So often we are focused on the future that we forget to appreciate the small things of each and every day. There is a gap between where you are and where you want to be. When you look back, it brings you to a place you can feel grateful for today. This act of looking back is a strategy called the reverse gap. It helps you to find joy right now with where you are at the moment.

2. Your Personal Purpose

Figure out why you are here! Why were you born? What special gifts and talents do you have to share with the world? I often say that discovering your personal purpose is the most significant inner work you can do for yourself. It helps to steer your path from that point on. And it also helps you to appreciate the entire journey that you have been on so far!

3. Practice Compassion Not Judgment

Everything that we experience in our lives is unique to each and every one of us. This is why it is so important not to judge others—because we simply do NOT know their path! Find ways to have compassion for others as we are all on a challenging journey! Be a conscious creator of your life and know that your thoughts and feelings affect not only you but also others around you. So refuse to be toxic by judging others but rather spread love through compassion.

4. Reframe Your Challenges

Once you can look at the challenges and the hard times of your life as big learning experiences that have helped you to grow in immense ways, it helps to alleviate some of the pain from those times. I’ve never heard anyone say that they didn’t learn something from their challenges and more often than not, people have grown more than they ever thought possible. Eventually you can find ways to be grateful for those challenges. It might be tough when you’re in the thick of it, but know that this too shall pass!

5. Find Your Sense of Direction

Knowing your personal purpose gives you a sense of direction and clarity. It helps to make sense of the madness of your life previously—you know all those crazy turns and decisions where you wonder later on why the heck did I do that? And it helps you to make solid decisions going into the future. You can discover that there is a red thread running through your entire life. And it helps you have clarity going into the future when you do have that sense of direction to guide you.

Using rituals or taking the time to just think or journal can offer that simple pause in life—where you consciously take a moment to appreciate where you are right now.

In this crazy busy world we live in, I think these are some of the best ways to stay sane and on track! What are some of the rituals, habits, or activities that keep you moving forward?

The Joy of Giving

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As the holidays are rapidly approaching, we tend to get wrapped up in the busy-ness of the times, rushing around with all the activities, meetings, parties, shopping, and cooking. Rather than the materialistic perspective, we should be taking some time to take stock of our lives, to feel the gratitude for all the blessings we have in our lives. No matter what your circumstances are, there are always things you can be grateful for in your life. Appreciation is a way of giving thanks to our higher Source.

The Law of Giving is one of the fundamental laws of the Universe. What most people may not realize is that giving is a cycle. In order to give, you must receive. And in order to receive, you must also give. I do not believe we are taught to receive very well. If someone gives you a compliment like “I love your new haircut,” do you shrug it off or try to dismiss it because you get embarrassed by the attention and say something like, “Oh, I can’t stand my hair, it‘s never how I like it.” Or sometimes we feel obligated to return the compliment. That would be OK, if we meant it…but do we really?

Giving is something that needs to come from the heart. When you do, you do not have any sort of expectation. You give for the pleasure of giving and making someone else happy. My daughter recently asked me what was the best Christmas memory I had. I thought about it for a while and then told her it was when I had given my daughters their handmade quilts. I had taken their baby clothes and started cutting squares in February of that particular year. I worked on making these quilts off and on all year and my daughters even helped with a part of it. I was hand sewing everything until in Nov when I was able to borrow a sewing machine. Then it went much faster. I stayed up late several nights to get them done after the girls had gone to bed so they wouldn’t see them.

Considering I had never made a quilt before in my life, these were definitely labors of love! My daughters eyes glowed when they opened those quilts and even though they got plenty of toys, those quilts were their favorite presents that year. My daughter’s each slept with “mommy’s quilt” for most of their young lives (and now that they are older, they have saved them for their future children!) I had told them that first night they slept with them that these special quilts were just like me hugging them all night long. Of course, the mommy quilts became even more significant when we were separated for 1400 days. My daughters were snuggled in my love every night through those quilts.

The best presents are the ones that come from the heart. We assume it needs to be material objects but what about our love, a hug, tell someone how much they mean to you in a nice letter or card, give someone your encouragement or faith or trust. Think about this as the holidays approach. What has been the best present you’ve ever given, or received, and why? And what can you give this year that will make a difference with those you love?

Stop Stuffing That Pain!

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We are in some dire need for collective healing all over this planet. There has been so much pain coming to the surface and so many stuffed emotions rearing their ugly little heads. Things we didn’t want to feel again.

According to scientific research, we store traumas in our cells. We can even carry our ancestor’s traumas in our DNA. The more aware we are of this, the more proactively we can work to heal ourselves, and our world.

When we have worked through our emotions, the stories we carry no longer have an emotional charge. I have felt this in my own life several times. I’ve stuffed away painful situations, hoping to never see them again, only to have it surface years later in unforeseen circumstances. And I’ve worked hard to break the patterns of pain, to try and fully heal, so that I don’t have to experience something again. It takes courage and a very conscious effort to do this “inner work.”

Sometimes it may feel like there are dark forces attacking or negative energies behind what is happening in your life. It knocks you down hard. And you have to pick yourself up again, shake it off, and keep moving forward. You may even reach a point that you just want to scream a big F you! You will NOT be held back! You are a force for good and of the light!

We are collectively experiencing a revelation–a bright light of truth shining on our global pain. It is bringing to surface those hidden emotions that we haven’t wanted to deal with, showing corruption and horrific events that we didn’t even know were possible.

The #MeToo movement has touched so many lives, both with women and men. People who have been hurt and abused are speaking out and this is good. I can tell you that 100% of women I know have all experienced abuse from men at one point in their lives. And I know a lot of men as well who are telling their stories.

We need to collectively take a stand and say NO MORE!

We will not tolerate any sort of abuse, any sort of misconduct, any sort of sexual inappropriateness, and certainly not any sort of physical, mental, emotional, and even spiritual abuse. From anyone! Or any institution!

We also need to dig for the truth. There are things happening in our world right now that are happening on so many levels. Many of the current affairs mean one thing on the surface and almost the complete opposite underneath the rhetoric and propaganda.

I do believe that the TRUTH will set us free! Be open-minded to having your beliefs rocked and shaken to the core.

I remember reading a term “religious abuse” in a book a decade ago for the first time. We are seeing how just how many “trusted” people in all of our institutions, whether they are religious, political, educational, media, business, etc, have used their power inappropriately.

No more.

The majority of people on this planet are good. They love their families and want peace. And the scariest thing of all for the evil ones is that we come together. They try to divide us through race, beliefs, politics, education, culture, and in so many ways. We the people are rising above this. We ARE coming together. We are feeling our pain and it’s moving us to action! It IS happening.

So let’s continue to have intelligent conversations. Authentic dialogues. Let’s support each other. Have compassion and empathy for each other on this journey we call life.

Because life has been painful. For ALL of us in one way or another.

And we can make a conscious choice to rise above it. To use that pain to fuel our passion and make a positive difference.

To connect us to each other, heart to heart. And to heal. To love one another.

And to decide that we are better than the pain.

We are stronger, wiser, and more resilient.

Because in the end, it comes down to: did we live our lives fully? Did we give more love and support? Did we follow our hearts? Did we do good in the world? Did we make a positive impact?

That’s what we’ll be remembered for and that is how we will celebrate our lives!

Make the conscious choice to be empowered and choose love over fear. Each and every time! We can do this!

The BEST Revenge Ever!

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Sometimes bad things happen to good people.

I’m sure you’ve heard that phrase before. And most likely experienced it yourself, wondering why this horrible thing was happening to you. We’ve all been there. We’ve been angry, frustrated, sad, annoyed, depressed. It is a part of the human experience.

I recently saw a Jay Shetty video (can highly recommend his videos for inspiration!!) and he shared how the heart machines show a flat line when we are dead. And when our hearts are beating strong, the line goes up and down consistently. That up and down movement shows that we are ALIVE! And it so corresponds to our lives.

Those tough times are often where we grow the most, where we tap into strength and resources we have within us that we didn’t even know existed. It’s where we find our courage, our tears, and our love. Those times give us a natural contrast to truly appreciate the good times that we have.

I have a friend who hasn’t really ever experienced anything “bad” in her life. No one close to her has died or been sick, she’s got a good job, loves what she does, her kids are all doing great, her husband loves her. And guess what? She’s shared with me once….she’s bored!! She’s bored with her life!

I’ll be honest, I just looked at her and thought to myself, gosh I’d be happy to trade. I thought that for about a second. And then I realized, no I wouldn’t want to trade. My life has been filled with the extremes on both the high and the low side. And I consider myself lucky actually! Because I love so much about my experiences in life, and I love the people it has brought into my life.

The funny thing I’ve learned is that the BEST revenge is keeping your frequency high.

This means being grateful, appreciating all the small moments, sending love out into the world, laughing those gut wrenching belly laughs that make you cry, enjoying great food, having those deep human connections with your friends and loved ones, reading a good book, continually learning, and always finding a way to trust in yourself and in your life. It means actively choosing love over fear. Every day.

I don’t like to talk about “dark energy” very much. But I can tell you it is definitely there. I have felt “attacked” several times just before I was to do something really big—something that would positively impact a lot of people. I used to think there was something wrong with me. But then I realized that I have this bigger purpose—of bringing joy to the world and to the workplace—and that people need what I have to offer. I can show people the way to find more joy.

And it is because of my resolve, that when I get hit with yet another “bad” event, I focus on love, on genuinely connecting to people, sharing my message, looking for the lessons, and staying committed to making a positive difference in the world.

So I pick myself back up, shake it off. Sometimes even get really pissed and say “No! I’m not going to let this stop me!”….and then I move on forward. And guess what? It does make a difference! So then I know I’m on the right path because it gets confirmed in so many ways.

I have a great tool that I developed called the Joyometer (you can download here and get a recording to the backstory of it). I call this a “mood management system” because it makes you aware of the feelings you are experiencing. We often say “I am mad,” “I am sad,” etc. But that is not who we are. We are just experiencing that particular emotion for a certain amount of time. When you can become fully aware of your emotional state, you step into your power. You are back in the driver’s seat of your life and can start to create and manifest things you truly want to experience.

Our world is going through a HUGE transformation right now. Even our Earth is feeling this energetic shift. Our job—ALL of us!—is to keep our frequency on a high level as we transition into a New Earth. Yes, we are going to experience (and are!) a lot of chaos. Just know this is a part of this process.

We are coming together as ONE, we are one in our humanity and we have this lovely planet barreling through space. So let’s come together in love, joy, peace and abundance. Let’s create new systems that are good for the planet and good for each other. It’s truly one of the most exciting times to be alive!

Can We Change the World with Intentions?

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Yes we can! We are way more powerful than we’ve been led to believe!

I recently finished reading The Power of Eight by Lynne McTaggart (which I can highly recommend) and she has been on a quest to figure out why intentions work so well. Lynne is an investigative journalist turned bestselling author and uses her skills to take a very scientific analytical approach to showing how we really are all connected (her books The Field and The Bond go into this in depth). With over a decade of research into intentions and working with groups, what she discovered is that while the person or object of intention received amazing healing/energy/positive impacts, etc, the act of sending intentions to others has a profound positive impact on the sender as well. And the effect is magnified when it is done in groups.

We have a tremendous creative power within ourselves, and our thoughts and emotions absolutely help us to create our world and life experiences. Whether we are doing this on a conscious level or not is up to the level of understanding we have gained. The majority of people live their lives by default not understanding this creative force we have within us. Often they are creating things they do NOT want in their lives, especially through fear and worrying. Once you start to learn about this creative power within, it changes your life forever. You can start to test this with smaller things until you gain the confidence to know that YOU are the one creating your reality. This knowledge puts you into the driver’s seat of your life.

After reading The Power of Eight, I am going to start experimenting with this in a dedicated way. I’ve worked with mastermind groups and teams for many years in various forms. Participating in global meditations always feels powerful. Sometimes we can feel so freaking small that we can’t do anything with all the major problems in the world…but the fact is that we CAN, especially if we work with others. What Lynne discovered in her years of research is that the power of intentions is magnified significantly when groups come together. And there’s plenty of research that shows how group intentions/prayers/meditations really do have an impact on society.

So let’s celebrate this immense power we have within ourselves and let’s use it as a force for GOOD. Let’s come together in groups of friends and loved ones to set the intentions of a peaceful and loving world where everyone’s needs are taken care of. We can do this—especially when we come together.

We can make a conscious choice to stay away from the divisiveness and the fear; instead we can choose love, compassion, and understanding. We can be a part of the solution. We are truly one and the energy that binds us together is love. Let’s use this in a positive way, and set the intention to create the lives we want and the world we can be proud to leave to our grandchildren!

You can find out more about The Power of Eight here