Tag Archives: joy

The Joy of Giving

As the holidays are rapidly approaching, we tend to get wrapped up in the busy-ness of the times, rushing around with all the activities, meetings, parties, shopping, and cooking.  Rather than the materialistic perspective, we should be taking some time to take stock of our lives, to feel the gratitude for all the blessings we have in our lives.  No matter what your circumstances are, there are always things you can be grateful for in your life.  Appreciation is a way of giving thanks to our higher Source.

The Law of Giving is one of the fundamental laws of the Universe.  What most people may not realize is that giving is a cycle.  In order to give, you must receive.  And in order to receive, you must also give.  I do not believe we are taught to receive very well.  If someone gives you a compliment like “I love your new haircut,” do you shrug it off or try to dismiss it because you get embarrassed by the attention and say something like, “Oh, I can’t stand my hair, it‘s never how I like it.”  Or sometimes we feel obligated to return the compliment.  That would be OK, if we meant it…but do we really?

Giving is something that needs to come from the heart.  When you do, you do not have any sort of expectation.  You give for the pleasure of giving and making someone else happy.  My daughter recently asked me what was the best Christmas memory I had.  I thought about it for a while and then told her it was when I had given my daughters their handmade quilts.  I had taken their baby clothes and started cutting squares in February of that particular year.  I worked on making these quilts off and on all year and my daughters even helped with a part of it.  I was hand sewing everything until in Nov when I was able to borrow a sewing machine.  Then it went much faster.  I stayed up late several nights to get them done after the girls had gone to bed so they wouldn’t see them.

Considering I had never made a quilt before in my life, these were definitely labors of love!  My daughters eyes glowed when they opened those quilts and even though they got plenty of toys, those quilts were their favorite presents that year.  My daughter’s each slept with “mommy’s quilt” for most of their young lives (and now that they are older, they have saved them for their future children!) I had told them that first night they slept with them that these special quilts were just like me hugging them all night long.  Of course, the mommy quilts became even more significant when we were separated for 1400 days.  My daughters were snuggled in my love every night through those quilts.

The best presents are the ones that come from the heart.  We assume it needs to be material objects but what about our love, a hug, tell someone how much they mean to you in a nice letter or card, give someone your encouragement or faith or trust.  Think about this as the holidays approach.  What has been the best present you’ve ever given, or received, and why?  And what can you give this year that will make a difference with those you love?

Putting Yourself First—For a Change!

How often do you think about pleasing yourself? We often put ourselves on the bottom of the list for nurturing and caring for when in reality we should be at the top—then we’ll have more energy to give to others.

Women, and mothers especially it seems, are notorious for giving until they don’t have anything left of themselves. Although some men/dads are also falling into this category more often now. This is not the way of the future as it is not sustainable in the long run.

Here are 10 easy ways to do things for yourself that will improve your life immediately. How many of these are you doing regularly?

  1. Stop doing things you don’t want to do
  2. Communicate clearly
  3. Stop pleasing people
  4. Say what you really mean
  5. Trust your instincts
  6. Never talk yourself down
  7. Follow your inspirations
  8. Don’t be afraid to say NO!
  9. Don’t be afraid to say YES!
  10. Be kind to yourself!

3 Proven Actions to Having More Joy and Happiness in Your Life

There are more than 7.4 billion people on the planet right now. The essence of what all people want comes down to four main things: love, peace, joy, and abundance.

I believe that people have an innate emotional set point—a place that a person returns to over and over on the broad scale of emotions we humans experience. So for example, I have an elderly relative has worried her entire life because she’s gone through many difficult times. Now that her life is actually better than it has been in a very long time, she still searches for things to worry about because that is where she tends to be most comfortable—and her brain is conditioned to this. Another relative from the same generation is always looking on the bright side and tends to have a very positive outlook. She’s full of energy and sometimes I can’t even keep up with her. Just comparing the levels of health with these two relatives shows me how your levels of happiness really does make a difference, especially over time.

During one of the toughest times in my life, I developed a way to become very aware or conscious of my feelings…and worked diligently to try and stay in a positive frame of mind. This tool is called the Joyometer™ and it is what I like to call a “mood management system” to help you stay aware of what you are feeling and how you can actively work to get yourself to a higher emotional state of being. (You can download the Joyometer here.)

Having had the good fortune to connect with hundreds of people through my work, and interview numerous thought leaders and change agents who are leaders in their field, I’ve found that there are three consistent strategies that people who are happier and living more joy filled lives actively work with to better their emotional state. They are the 3 G’s to Joy & Happiness:

Gratitude

Regardless of whatever is happening in your life, you can always find something to be grateful for…you are reading this right now and you are breathing! Finding things to appreciate and be thankful for in life helps you shift how you look at the world.

If you focus on what is going well, the tendency that more good will happen will generally increase. Gratitude helps your overall emotional well- being, helps you sleep better, increases your confidence and also betters your relationships. It’s a great way to lift you out of a funk.

Growth

Nature is constantly changing and our universe is continually expanding. As humans, we are happier when we are growing and learning on some level. We are meant to be pushing the boundaries and trying new things. People often say they are afraid of change but the reality is that life is constant change. Growth is optional and we can take a conscious effort to strive to be better and open our minds to new perspectives.

Just as water stagnates when it is still, so do we humans. It’s much healthier to be flowing like a river. When our basic needs are taken care of, it is natural for us to seek new relationships, new challenges, new jobs, and learning new skills. It’s a part of human nature to grow and that helps increase our levels of happiness as well.

Giving

Giving is the third strategy to increase the joy in your life. When you can help others, it will bring you a new perspective and studies show as we see others thrive, we feel better. Giving has three different levels:

  • Philanthropy — such as writing a check at the end of the year for a charity, there is very little interaction and not a deeper emotional connection although the act is most certainly appreciated.
  • Giving Back — for example, a mining company would give back to a community by planting parks and reforesting an old mine, there’s a feeling of doing something good to better a situation.
  • Contribution – an example is volunteering with elderly or homeless, something that is more interactive with time and energy and also having a deeper emotional connection and understanding of doing something for the greater good of all.

Random acts of kindness will increase your own level of happiness and joy in ways that you might not even expect. The deeper the emotional connection in the giving, the more positive—and lasting—impact it will have with you.

When you consistently practice these three actions of Gratitude, Growth, and Giving, you will notice how it brings more energy and vibrancy to your own life. Play around and experiment with this for a week and see how it makes a difference, not only in your life but also those around you.