Category Archives: Joy

Putting Yourself First—For a Change!

How often do you think about pleasing yourself? We often put ourselves on the bottom of the list for nurturing and caring for when in reality we should be at the top—then we’ll have more energy to give to others.

Women, and mothers especially it seems, are notorious for giving until they don’t have anything left of themselves. Although some men/dads are also falling into this category more often now. This is not the way of the future as it is not sustainable in the long run.

Here are 10 easy ways to do things for yourself that will improve your life immediately. How many of these are you doing regularly?

Stop doing things you don’t want to do
Communicate clearly
Stop pleasing people
Say what you really mean
Trust your instincts
Never talk yourself down
Follow your inspirations
Don’t be afraid to say NO!
Don’t be afraid to say YES!
Be kind to yourself!

Is Self Care Selfish?

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Many mothers will tell you that they put their children and families needs first. Now while taking care of your family is and should be a high priority….taking care of yourself FIRST should be an even higher priority. Often our societal norms dictate that we should be selfless, and think of others before ourselves, that it is selfish to think of yourself.

I learned early on when I had young children that I needed what I called “mommy time” every once and a while. My mom or my husband would take the kids off to do something fun with them, and I could just BE. I didn’t have to do anything. In fact, just sitting on the sofa reading a book or taking a nap was heaven. This time was vital for me.

Now that the kids are grown, I’m finding a new way to have “my time” and it is essential. With the corporate clients I work with, there are so many who have calendars that are jam-packed. Recently in a meeting with an HR Director, she was trying to find a time for a follow-up meeting, and I saw as she scrolled through her calendar, that is was non-stop meetings from 8 to 5 every single day for weeks in advance. I asked her if she’s catching up on her real work after she puts her kids to bed and I could tell I hit a nerve. Yes, she was taking time after hours to complete what should have been her normal day-to-day tasks.

It is not an uncommon story. Unfortunately, I see it more and more and this is NOT sustainable.

Scheduling time for self-care is not a luxury—it’s a necessity!

When you take care of yourself first, you are then able to give more to others. Why do you think on airplanes you’re supposed to put your air mask on first before your kids? Same reasoning. If you aren’t doing well, how can you expect to take care of others?

So drop the guilt or the shame or the overwhelm. Be selfish! Because it’s not! Block out time in your calendar if you have to. Otherwise, there’s a high risk that eventually you may burn out or that your body will give you a major health issue that will stop you in your tracks.

Discover the things that feed your soul and put them into your days and weeks regularly. It can be taking a walk, being out in nature, painting, yoga, meditation, biking, spending quality time with your best friend, dancing, skiing, whatever it might be. Just do it! You will be glad. Especially because it’s the things that recharge our batteries that will give us a life we love to live.

What’s Your Word for 2018?

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Do you think of a theme or a word for each year? It’s a great exercise someone recently mentioned to me. I’ve decided that this year’s theme for me is evolution. It’s one of my core words anyway and it feels appropriate for this year as well.

One of my favorite sayings is “Life is change. Change is constant. Growth is optional.” I’ve lived by this for many years now. I believe that life happens FOR us not TO us. When we can make this mental shift, we drop the victim mentality and start to think that the Universe has our back, even through the challenges and tough times, which if you are breathing, you WILL have! It’s a part of the human experience.

It is often through the toughest times that we can grow and evolve the most. It somehow forces us to dig deep inside and find what we need to make it through the challenges. At least that has been my experience.

So choosing growth, choosing to evolve, and leaning into trust that things are going to work out for you in the long run, makes it possible to be strong and resilient through whatever life may throw your way. We ALL have an inner core strength of courage and those difficult times helps you to grow.

Growth of course can happen in good times as well. It seems like when you are reaching for goals, dreams, and desires that are outside of your comfort zone, you learn to expand your comfort zone to make it bigger. And guess, what? It stays there!

Two years ago when I released my personal story, 1,352 Days, I ended up all over the media in Sweden. I was on radio and TV shows, even LIVE TV, doing interviews in Swedish (holy cow!! that was a HUGE stretch for me!). For most of the interviews, I was pretty calm inside and the reason is because I was (and still am) very purpose driven. I knew that I had a message to share and get out into the world and if I could use my personal story of immense challenges to inspire others, and to share that no matter what happens, choose love over fear, then I was willing to expand my comfort zone as far as I needed. That was a year of huge evolution to me.

I believe that our world is going through a HUGE evolution right now as well. It seems like so many people I know are having to deal with their emotional baggage, issues that they might not have dealt with or wanted to deal with. But now is the time for each of us to do the internal clearing and healing. Watching what has happened with the #MeToo movement all over the world is both bringing up issues and (hopefully) healing for those who have experienced any sort of harassment.

It is time for us to embrace the changes, to consciously create the world we want to live in, and to take our power back—both individually and collectively. Together we are stronger. We have the opportunity to step into our best selves and we are evolving.

So what is your word for 2018?

3 Tips for Finding Joy in Change

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Life is change. Change is constant. Growth is optional.

This has always been one of my favorite sayings and a mantra in my life. Just as the seasons changes each year, so does our life. We have cycles and patterns and it’s good to identify what those are because therein often lies important lessons for us to learn.

My oldest daughter graduated from high school in Sweden this month. Swedes have a great way of celebrating this milestone in a young person’s life. The day is a full day of activities and events all around celebrating the end of this phase of life.

As a mom watching this, I became very aware of my own feelings as well. It’s been a mix of happiness and joy, pride in her accomplishments, and an underlying sadness that has been hard for me to find words for. But I finally figured out what it is, especially for mothers.

We are the caretakers of our children for around 18 years on average (yes, I know kids are living at home longer these days for a variety of reasons but let’s stick to the average). This has been one of my purposes in life—being a mom. It’s been one of my absolute favorite “roles.” And I see that soon, this role will be ending. I will never stop being a mom but I will no longer be the caretaker. My daughter is entering adulthood and will be taking care of herself. And I’m thrilled for that. My only hope is that I’ve equipped her well enough to manage whatever life might throw her way. And of course, I’ll be here always as her mom, as a support, and as a friend.

It’s fun to embrace life and to grow with the changes. And when you know that change is constant, it makes the ride all that more fun to be on. You can find that joy in all the constant changes. Because you never know what really might be around the corner. Science studies have shown that change is good for us. It stimulates the brain and helps keep us active.

Here are three tips that have helped me along my own journey:

Expect change and embrace it rather than being afraid of change
Trust that change is happening FOR you for a good reason. You are not a victim and there are always lessons in all challenges so look for that so that you can…
Learn to grow from changes. When you find those lessons you will naturally grow and evolve into an even better version of yourself!

So my reflections from this period in my own life are to love the moments. Seize those small moments that you love and try to fill your day with many of them. Because life keeps moving forward no matter what and it’s only up to us to make it an amazing journey!

Love With a Scientific Twist

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Love is the essence of who we all are. It’s the one thing we all have in common that we want and need to have in our lives…and often feel like we are lacking the most. Love to me is an acronym: Living On Vibrant Energy. Because love is vibrant energy flowing through you and into your life.

In the Bringing Joy series of picture books, Joy shows how we can “plug” into Source energy, which is the same as love. When we are feeling like we are lacking in love, it is only because we are “unplugged” in some way from that vibrant energy.

We can’t see electricity but we know it’s there and that it words for us. It’s the same with Source energy or love. We can’t see it but we know when we feel it or have it in our lives.

The Institute of Heartmath has been studying the heart and its mysteries for almost 20 years. Their findings are fascinating. Did you know that:

The heart emits electromagnetic fields that change according to your emotions

The human heart’s electromagnetic field can be measured up to several feet away from the body

Positive emotions create physiological benefits in your body

You can boost your immune system by conjuring up positive emotions

Negative emotions can create nervous system chaos but positive emotions do the opposite

The heart has a system of neurons that have both short and long term memory, and that their signals sent to the brain can affect our emotional experiences

In fetal development, the heart forms and starts beating before the brain is developed

The mother’s brainwaves can synchronize with her baby’s heartbeats

The heart sends more information to the brain than vice versa

Positive emotions help the brain in creativity and innovative problem solving

Positive emotions can increase the brain’s ability to make good decisions

That the heart’s electromagnetic field is approximately 60 times stronger than the brain

The Institute of Heartmath is teaching about coherence and how to reach it. This is essentially when your heart is open and you are experiencing a state of love and gratitude. Love and gratitude are the strongest positive emotions.

Another book I highly recommend is Hidden Message in Water by Emoto Masaru. He looks at the world from the camera lens of capturing crystals as they are forming on freezing water. He has also discovered that love and gratitude create the most beautiful crystals.

It’s very exciting to see so much research happening about love, our hearts, our emotions, and how we can learn to use all this knowledge to better our lives.